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Direct Cremations

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 01:23:51 GMT

What exactly is a direct cremation

What exactly is meant by a direct cremation?

Strictly speaking, it means the deceased is cremated as soon as possible after death, once all the necessary paperwork has been completed. There is no viewing or family involvement.

Direct cremations are more common now than in previous times. There are several reasons - for some it is a financial decision - for others, they think it will be simpler and mean that they won't have to deal with their grief in a public way or they don't want a fuss.

Often it is because family members are honouring the expressed wishes of the deceased along the lines of "just put me in a cardboard box and cremate me".

We see adult children very conflicted over this one. The thing is, the farewell or funeral does not have to be a big public event. If you wish to honour your parents' wishes by having a simple cremation, then talk to

us about how you can weave in some elements of farewell so your emotional needs are honoured too.

We encourage people to take a bit of time especially if they are physically and emotionally exhausted after a loved one has died.

When a direct cremation is organised immediately following a death, quite often the bereaved person is still in a state of shock and by the time they have space to think about any other options, it will be too late to work through the longer term implications.

We are always happy to have a chat and discuss options, so give us a call or pop in when you are passing.

Legal Requirement of Funeral Directors

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 00:33:19 GMT

If you have been keeping up with the news lately you may have noticed several distressing stories about a lack of care demonstrated by some funeral directors when being contracted by bereaved families after the loss of their loved one.

There is no government regulatory authority for funeral directors in New Zealand but all funeral directors must comply with legal requirements around care of the deceased as specified in the Burials and Cremations Act.

In addition, there are requirements for fair pricing and contracts under the Fair Trading Act, as well as obligations that apply under the Consumer Guarantees Act.

We are members of the Funeral Directors Association so adhere to the ethics and standards that are part of our membership.

We know that transparency of pricing is important along with ensuring that the options chosen work with families’ budgets. We regularly provide detailed pricing estimates along with information to help with farewell planning.

Our many years of experience have also shown us that it is important to be looking at the ‘big picture’ when choosing a service provider.

When you engage Gillions to look after arrangements for your loved one you will have the comfort and assurance that they will be well looked after from the time we transfer them to our care until the time we take them to the crematorium or cemetery.

Our care for you continues beyond this time as we know that grief does not have a time limit.

New Years Reflections

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 00:14:09 GMT

Writing down my wishes

Throughout our lives we enjoy having input into the major events we participate in. It might be a significant birthday, a wedding, graduation or celebrating the birth of a new family member. However, the most certain and significant final event we will all face is rarely spoken about, neither saved nor planned for.

Taking the time to talk about your life, its most precious memories, what was important to you on your life journey is an important talk to have.

Our lives have become so busy sometimes we forget to pause and share with others the thoughts which are most special to us. These thoughts can be used as the basis of your final wishes.

If you do take the time to talk about your life and last wishes there many aspects of your funeral you may wish your loved ones to know:

• Do I prefer burial or cremation? And if cremation – do I want my ashes scattered or interred?

• Do I want a public funeral or a simple farewell?

• Do I want music at my service? Hymns or music which are special to our family?

• Are there people my family don’t know who should receive a particular invitation to my service?

Taking the time to talk about your last wishes ahead of time will assist your loved ones when they gather, remember and celebrate your life.

The next step is to write them down and to let your family or funeral home know the details.

Ask us for a copy of the “My Life, My Farewell Booklet”. We are always happy to answer your questions and provide pricing guidelines to help you with your farewell planning.

Victorian Funeral Customs

Keith@Gillions.co.nz (Keith Gillions) — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 00:50:15 GMT

How Victorians Mourned

Death was a constant presence in Victorian life. Epidemics and illnesses were widespread, and with larger families, many children didn’t survive into adulthood. It wasn’t unusual for families to lose half their children before they reached maturity. As a result, funerals were much more frequent during the Victorian era than they are today.

Many of the traditions of this time are attributed to England’s Queen Victoria. Her husband, Prince Albert, passed away suddenly from typhoid fever at 42, after a month-long illness. The couple had been married for 21 years and had 9 children together. Queen Victoria was devastated by his death, famously writing to her daughter: “How I, who leant on him for all and everything—without whom I did nothing, moved not a finger, arranged not a print or photograph, didn’t put on a gown or bonnet if he didn’t approve—shall go on, to live, to move, to help myself in difficult moments?”

The day of Albert’s funeral saw every shop closed, blinds drawn, and streets silent. Those who did go out wore the deepest mourning attire. Following his death, Queen Victoria ordered his rooms to be kept as they were when he was alive, with servants bringing hot water daily for his morning shave. She also commissioned statues and displayed mementos of him throughout royal residences. Retreating to Windsor Castle and Balmoral, where she had spent happy times with Albert, she continued to mourn him for the remaining 40 years of her life by wearing black.

Victoria’s public mourning deeply influenced society, giving rise to many elaborate rituals for honouring the dead, such as wearing mourning clothes, holding lavish funerals, and erecting ornate gravestones or mausoleums.

While today “keeping up with the Joneses” refers to status symbols like cars or homes, in Victorian times, the competition was about who could hold the most extravagant funeral or mourning ceremony.

It’s hard to believe that just a few generations ago, funeral customs were so different. By learning about Victorian cemetery traditions, we gain insight into the world our ancestors lived in.

Funeral invitations during this time were formal, written with black borders, and delivered by private messenger. Attendance without an invitation was improper, and failure to attend after being invited was equally frowned upon. Black-bordered stationery and handkerchiefs were also customary during mourning, with wider borders indicating a more recent death. As time passed, the borders narrowed, signalling the end of the mourning period.

With the medical field still in its infancy, it wasn’t uncommon for doctors to mistakenly declare someone dead. There are many tales of individuals being buried alive, having fallen into comas, a condition then referred to as “sleeping sickness.” To prevent premature burial, some families included safeguards in their loved ones’ coffins. For instance, a bell was sometimes attached to the deceased’s hand so they could signal if they woke. This practice gave rise to the phrase “saved by the bell.” Some coffins were even fitted with windows or breathing tubes to allow for signs of life to be observed.

British royalty and nobility played a significant role in shaping Victorian funeral traditions. The Duke of Wellington’s funeral in 1852, for example, featured a hearse drawn by twelve black horses, each adorned with ostrich feather plumes, which soon became a popular funeral decoration. Ostrich feathers, often dyed in different colours, became a symbol of wealth at funerals, with the finest services featuring them extensively.

Another fascinating tradition was the hiring of professional mourners, also known as “mutes,” whose job was to silently maintain the sombre atmosphere. Victorian society discouraged public displays of grief, particularly loud crying, so these mutes helped ensure that mourning remained dignified.

Mourning jewellery was also a common practice, often incorporating the hair of the deceased into bracelets, necklaces, and brooches. While it was considered inappropriate for women to wear jewellery during the deep mourning period, they often wore these personal mementos later on. Jewellery also often featured jet, a black gemstone, or mourning symbols like willow trees, urns, or clasped hands.

Other traditions included wearing black ribbons on clothing, door handles, and even pets to prevent further death in the family. Crepe fabric, with its non-reflective texture, was used to trim garments and cover mirrors during the mourning period.

Funerals were so important that many middle- and lower-class families would prioritize funeral savings over basic necessities like food and shelter. Ironically, this financial strain sometimes increased the likelihood that families would need those savings for a child’s funeral.

As Victorian mourning customs grew increasingly elaborate, families faced anxiety over adhering to these strict social expectations. Failing to follow mourning etiquette—whether by wearing a dress of the wrong colour or returning to normal life too soon—could be seen as disrespectful to the deceased.

While many of these Victorian traditions have faded, their influence still lingers in some of our modern funeral practices.

Pets grieve too

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Sun, 13 Oct 2024 03:45:00 GMT

Because pets can't speak their grief often manifests in behavioural changes

If you’ve recently lost a member of your family – human or animal – then your pet may be grieving.

Pets are often very attuned to their humans and companion pets, so when a death occurs, they are likely to feel it, too. Because pets can’t speak, their grief often manifests in behavioural changes.

There’s solid research out there to support the fact that pets – especially dogs and cats – do grieve the loss of an owner or a fellow pet.

In 2016, a New Zealand study found, it was found that dogs and cats exhibited behavioural changes associated with a death in the home. They were more likely to seek more affection, act clingy or needy, whimper or whine, and eat less, among other changes.

The most common changes are:
Changes in appetite (eating less)
Acting withdrawn or sad
Whining, howling, yowling, or crying
Changes in personality (your standoffish cat becomes a cuddler)
Pacing or searching the house for the missing family member
Hiding from or avoiding other family members
Changes in grooming or bathroom habits (especially in cats)
Showing signs of separation anxiety
Changes in sleeping patterns (sleeping more or less than usual)

If you just aren’t sure if these changes are related to grief, make an appointment with your veterinarian. They can help rule out physical causes for the changes in your pet.

However, if your pet is grieving, there are some things you can do to help them:
Give them extra love, snuggles and attention. It will help you both mourn.

Reinforce good behaviour and ignore bad behaviour
If your pet is acting out because of grief (howling, having bathroom troubles, etc.), try not to punish them for it. Instead, be patient with them;

Give it time .

Everyone, including pets, need time to figure out what the household looks like now that a member is gone. With multiple pets, the remaining pets will need to figure out their new social structure, and that takes time.

Maintain daily routines
Go for walks, have playtime, and give treats and regular meals.
Provide entertainment while you’re gone. If your pet is showing signs of separation anxiety, Hide treats around the house, put in a scratching post, lay out favourite toys, or buy a new toy.

Not all pets will exhibit feelings of grief, and that’s completely normal. 40% of pets do not show signs of grief. But if your pet is grieving and their behavioural changes don’t improve or get worse, reach out to your veterinarian for professional help

The hard conversation - Euthanasia of a pet

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Sat, 21 Sep 2024 13:15:00 GMT

Making the decision to euthanise a pet is never easy

Pets are an irreplaceable part of our family, and making the decision to euthanise a pet is never easy. Here are a few tips for talking to your child about euthanising a pet.

Firstly, be honest. Avoid euphemisms like “your pet is going to be put to sleep” Children a very literal and could start associating going to sleep with death.
Don’t say that the pet has run away or gone on a trip, as your child will anxiously wait for them to come home, and this will hinder them from being able to grieve. Don’t blame the vet! Ask the vet if they would be open to talking to your child about why this will be the best option for your pet.

Help them understand why this is necessary. Perhaps the biggest challenge will be explaining to your children why euthanasia may be the best option. First, explain why you think euthanasia is necessary. This could be old age, terminal illness, or an accident.

Discuss what is happening as a family. Include your children in the discussions.
Give your child the opportunity to say goodbye. whether it’s to a pet or a person – there’s something in us that just doesn’t heal properly

Let your child make the decision if they want to be present when your pet is euthanised. For some children, seeing the peaceful reality is easier to deal with than whatever fantasy they may conjure on their own. If they don’t want to go, that’s fine, too. Just having the option to choose is often enough. If your child does want to attend, let the vet know and do what you can to prepare your child for what they will see.

Should children be involved

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Wed, 18 Sep 2024 02:54:17 GMT

We’re often asked whether children should be involved after a family member's death, and if so, how? While you know your children best, our general advice is to include them as much as possible. Children will take cues from the adults around them, so if you're open and honest, they will likely follow suit.

Answer their questions directly but avoid unnecessary details unless they're asked. Their inquiries will be shaped by their age and previous experiences, such as the death of a pet. Children under 7 may not fully understand that death is permanent, universal, and involves the body stopping completely. They may ask more literal questions, like "Who will Nan play with in heaven?" or "Who will take me to the park?"

As they grow, their understanding of death will evolve, so it’s important to revisit the topic. Be honest, using clear and age-appropriate language. For instance, avoid saying someone "went to sleep," as this could cause fear. If you're comfortable, allowing them to see or touch the deceased can help, as their imagination may be scarier than reality.

Children can also participate in the funeral, whether by reading poems, handing out service sheets, lighting candles, or helping with flowers during the committal.

The following are wonderful resources for helping bereaved children.

www.kenziesgife.com

www.skylight.org.nz

www.cloudworkshop.co.nz

Viewing the deceased

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Wed, 18 Sep 2024 02:52:48 GMT

In some cultures, being around the deceased is a natural part of life, but in Western culture, we’ve moved away from this. At Gillions, we believe in supporting families to be as involved as they wish in caring for their loved one after they’ve passed. This may include helping to dress them, spending time with them, or bringing them home before the funeral.

While it’s natural to feel unsure about this, we often hear from families that the experience was deeply meaningful. Dressing a loved one can feel like a final act of love, especially if you helped care for them before they passed. We encourage children to be part of this process too.

If you’d like to have your loved one at home, we can guide you on how to care for them and stay in touch for any questions you may have. This can provide precious time to say goodbye in your own way, especially if the death was unexpected

Grief

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Wed, 18 Sep 2024 02:40:45 GMT

Grief is a deeply personal journey, influenced by past experiences and the circumstances of loss. When a death is sudden, for instance, grief can feel more complex and harder to navigate than when the death was expected. While many find their own path through grief, others may require additional support

At Gillions, we offer bereavement support as a complimentary service for the families we care for. In partnership with The Grief Centre, we ensure you and your family receive the best care. A letter will be sent outlining the service, followed by a call from the Bereavement Support Team approximately 6-8 weeks after the funeral. The team can provide support throughout the year and offer helpful resources, including brochures and booklets on grief and loss. The bereavement support worker will be there to listen and provide further assistance if needed. At Gillions, our care continues beyond the funeral, ensuring you receive the support you need.

Navigating grief after a pet dies

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Sat, 14 Sep 2024 20:00:00 GMT

It is not just children who are deeply affected by the loss of a pet.

Grief is a price we pay for love.

Everyone’s journey is different. You may not understand, but it is important you realise that your friend's journey is very real. For them, it is true and difficult. It can be very complex, so just walk alongside them as their friend.

Allow them to express their feelings. Let them know it is ok. Be a safe place for them, and be ready to hear the same stories over and over again.

Don’t try and fix it. Grief is not something wrong that needs to be fixed. It can't be.

Don’t make suggestions like getting a pet to replace the one that has just died, or minimising their loss through words or actions, or brushing over their feelings.

Only by confronting our pain can we begin to process it and find the healing we need to move forward.

Help them celebrate and remember their pet. Help your friend find ways to grieve in a healthy way by celebrating their pet and never forgetting the incredible impact pets can have on our lives.

Give it time. Everyone, including pets, needs time to figure out what the household looks like now that a member is gone. With multiple pets, the remaining pets will need to figure out their new social structure, and that takes time.

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Sun, 08 Sep 2024 23:43:47 GMT

Lets get talking

In the 2022/23 financial year, 565 New Zealanders took their own lives. 411 of those were male and 154 were female. The 20-24 age group had the highest suspected suicides. Māori Tane were represented with 1.9 times that of non-Māori, and Wahine 1.4 times that of non-Māori. In 2022, the road toll, 378. (Te Whatu Ora)

We need to change the narrative, bringing attention to the issues affecting our people, reducing stigma and giving the message that suicide is preventable. This will require systemic change, it is about korero – talking openly.

Suicide should not be a taboo subject. Keeping the subject behind closed doors leads to shame, whakama.

There is no one solution, however, engaging in open and honest conversations within families and communities about mental health.

We can break down those barriers, one by one. Check-in with your friends, your whānau. Share your stories so that they are not alone, and that other people have felt like they do.

Every conversation, no matter how small, contributes to a more supportive and understanding society.

Gillions are proud to be supporters of Life Matters Suicide Prevention Trust

2024 Pet Memorial

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Sun, 01 Sep 2024 04:30:02 GMT

I still remember the heartache of putting our beautiful girl, Keira, to sleep after 15 years with us. We had a deep bond. She travelled with us overseas and to different cities. Her demise was very sudden and came as such a shock.

Pets provide unconditional love, happiness, and joy. When that is taken away, there is a void left in their place. They are a loved member of the family. Some may not understand the depth of your grief, but for you, it is real.

At Gillions, we have all lost pets. The grieving process cannot be forced or hurried; for some, it can be measured in years. Reaching out to others who have lost pets can help ease the grieving process.

Since 2019, we have held an annual pet memorial—a funeral for your pet. We include the elements of a traditional funeral: a musician, celebrant, a slideshow of all the loved pets, a memorial tree, and light refreshments afterwards.

Our next pet memorial will be held on Sunday, October 6th, at 2 pm in the Gillions Chapel. Please send your photos to pets@gillions.co.nz by September 30th. If you are unable to attend in person, we will live-stream the service.

"Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way." - Franz Kafka (1883-1924)

Burial or Cremation for my pet

Office@Gillions.co.nz — Mon, 05 Aug 2024 04:19:24 GMT

Once your pet passes, there are a few things to consider

Burial
If you are renting, seek the permission of the landlord.
Best to dig about 4 feet down. For large animals, you might need to get friends to help or use a backhoe.
Make sure anything non-biodegradable, such as plastic is removed.
Make sure, when you are digging, you don’t dig through cables buried underground
You can place a marker where you have buried your pet.

Cremation
Your vet will be able to give you recommendations as to where you can get your pet cremated
This is a great opportunity if you are renting.
There are many ways the ashes of your pet can be kept, in urns, and jewellery, options are endless.

Speak with your vet to get an idea of what is right for you

Modern Ways to Remember

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 23:09:08 GMT

Gone are the days of all you had to rely on were photos and your memories to remember your loved There are so many choices, it can be overwhelming

Stardustme.com is a New Zealand-based company that will take your ashes out of this world. A token containing a symbolic portion of a departed’s ashes quietly orbits the Earth for around five years whilst family and friends can follow this journey through the stars using a mobile tracker The orbital-class rocket carries the ashes to around 500km above the planet’s surface, to the region known as low-earth-orbit

heart-in-diamond.co.nz is a New Plymouth-based company that will turn the ashes of your loved ones into a laboratory-grown diamond with carbon extracted from the ashes

Memori.co.nz has the platform for you to create memorial pages and the QR code that creates a permanent physical link to the tribute page. These can be mounted to a headstone or kept somewhere safe

reterniti.com is a Christchurch-based company. Their ethos is that loved ones should either be kept close once they’ve passed, but not in an urn on a mantelpiece, or placed somewhere special, a place that was meaningful to them. Reterniti handcraft a beautiful stone or pebble from your loved ones ashes, which you can hold close. They do stones and pebbles for both pets and humans

Taking a fingerprint and having your loved one with you as a piece of jewellery is a popular way to remember your loved ones. Each piece is special and unique 2 companies in Dunedin offer this. timelessimpressions.co.nz and asparrowstouch.co.nz

For your music loving person, imagine your ashes embossed into your very own Vinyl record. www.andvinyly.com is a British company that creates bespoke vinyl records using ash.

Grief Brain

Fri, 28 Jun 2024 02:10:31 GMT

What is Grief Brain?

Grief can make you feel forgetful, spacey, and unable to express your thoughts. Losing a loved one is a natural, yet difficult life event, and it is one of the greatest stressors we face as humans. Grief affects us emotionally and physically, leading to a symptom known as grief brain. This condition can cause trouble sleeping, concentrating, and remembering simple things, but these effects are usually temporary.

How Grief Affects the Brain

Grief can rewire the brain, worsening memory, cognition, and concentration. Acute grief symptoms, such as yearning and sadness, are most intense during the first six months. For most people, these symptoms decrease over time, but if they last longer than 12 months, it may be diagnosed as prolonged grief disorder.

Prolonged Grief Disorder

Prolonged grief disorder occurs when coping becomes difficult after a loved one’s death, affecting 2.4% to 6.7% of bereaved adults. Symptoms include extreme emotional pain, avoidance of death reminders, identity disruption, emotional numbness, and severe loneliness. Prolonged grief can also lead to major depression, so reaching out to a mental health professional is crucial if symptoms feel overwhelming.

Can Grief Damage Your Brain?

Chronic grief can push the body into long-term survival mode, affecting attention, memory, decision-making, language, information processing, and cognitive functions. The severity of grief may be tied to mental health, with resilient individuals showing fewer depressive symptoms and greater emotional stability over time.

Next Steps

If grief feels overwhelming, it's important to seek support from a mental health professional to help navigate the grieving process.

Dunedin Citys Only Locally Owned Full Service Funeral

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 04:42:44 GMT

Best to choose local

There’s no doubt that life has changed since Covid came to town. We’ve experienced lockdowns, various restrictions, incredible sadness, and the joy of being with people again and the comfort of touch. In the early days, there was a sense of togetherness in uncertainty (albeit much through screens) and a surge of support for keeping things local.

That sense of supporting local businesses is still very important. When you choose to support a local business, you know that you are supporting the local community as well.

Because we are Dunedin born and bred and continue to be a family owned and operated company, giving back to our community means a lot to us personally. It also means we are adaptable and can make operational decisions very quickly – especially important in tough economic times.

Wherever possible, we choose local suppliers. Our catering comes from the Home of St Barnabas, and the majority of the caskets and urns we use are sourced locally, Carley, from Joseph Jones Floral Design, is just up the road and is our go-to for flowers. There are many other local businesses that we could not do without so this is a chance to say thank you.

Our local focus extends to our regular support of the Otago Community Hospice, Life Matters Suicide Trust, The Otago Phoenix Club and the Dunedin Wildlife Hospital.

For any enquiries please contact us anytime on 03 455 2128 or email us on support@gillions.co.nz

Finding Community at a Funeral

Thu, 13 Jun 2024 21:47:12 GMT

Just recently, I attended the funeral of my Brother-in-law in the North Island. He died very suddenly at the young age of 64. It came as a huge shock to the whole family.

Sitting and talking to my sister while I was there, she said she wasn’t going to have a funeral, but because he died so suddenly, she felt that she needed closure for herself as well as their three children and

grandchild.

They sat together and as a family decided they would have a service, thinking that probably no more than 50 people would attend. At the service, it was standing room only. Over 200 people came from all over the country, and 30 devices were logged in to the live stream to pay their respects.

Think about it. We have a baby shower and occasionally a gender reveal party for a child who isn’t born. We celebrate milestone birthdays ( my dad’s 90th is next month ), but when someone dies, over the past few years, there has been a change to where we tend not to celebrate or acknowledge the mark

someone has had on our lives as often.

When my mum passed, people that we had not seen for 20+ years came, even my friends from primary school attended. In the end, my sister is so pleased that they decided to celebrate this wonderful man’s life, and the legacy he will leave behind. His children and grandchildren will have something to remember him by and know he was loved not just by them, but many more.

By: Kelly Thompson

A variety of funerals to suit everyone

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 23:43:43 GMT

Life presents us with numerous choices, and even after we pass away, there are decisions for our families to consider. In New Zealand, our approach to funerals and farewells is unique and diverse, offering

various options to suit individual preferences.

A Direct or Simple Cremation , involving no service or viewing, with cremation arranged once paperwork is completed.

A Farewell Viewing allows immediate family time together in a viewing room, with the casket open or closed as desired.

An Intimate Friends and Family Farewell accommodates up to 10 people in our Carisbrook Room, where loved ones can say their farewells privately. If required, refreshments can be supplied. Graveside services offer a less formal goodbye at the burial site, with eco-burial available for those mindful of their ecological footprint.

Home services allow families to spend time with their loved one in their own environment, while private services can be held in various locations by invitation only.

Our Carisbrook Room is the perfect venue for up to 30 people for a small private service. Public services,

advertised beforehand, are open to all and can be conducted in our chapel or larger venues like churches or halls.

A Memorial Service , held after cremation or burial, provides an opportunity for celebration and remembrance.

Considering a bequest to the Otago University Department of Anatomy supports future medical professionals. Additionally, we offer assistance with repatriation nationally through our networks

of Funeral Director’s Association of New Zealand members, and internationally from our wider Networks.

We always welcome enquiries about the wide range of services we can offer.

Scams

Sun, 31 Mar 2024 22:53:46 GMT

Scams and funerals are not typically associated, but a recent incident involving the funeral of the Green Party’s MP Efeso Collins has brought attention to this unfortunate reality.

Scammers created a fake Facebook page and sent friend requests to acquaintances of Collins’ family, offering a link to view his funeral via livestream. Upon clicking the link, victims were prompted to pay a fee, often as low as $1. Once paid, scammers gained access to their bank details, allowing them to

siphon money from their accounts.

These fraudulent Facebook pages appear authentic, bearing the name of the funeral home, making them really easy to fall for. To prevent falling victim to such schemes, it’s advisable to visit the Gillions live streaming page directly and use the provided link.

If you are asked to pay a fee to view a Gillions funeral, disregard the link, report the profile to Facebook or

the relevant social media platform, and let us know. Gillions will never charge viewers to watch a live-streamed service.

We also occasionally receive emails asking us to provide services for a family member, but we can’t contact the person wanting the service, for a number of interesting reasons, the latest being, that the person was on the ‘high seas’. They requested that we pay in advance for elements of a service, the latest being a non-existent jazz band.

Navigating the internet, and potential scammers is a bit like being on the ‘high seas’ ourselves.

We endeavour to do our best to keep “scammer free” but if we do get a notification of a scam using our name, we will place a notification on our Facebook page - the official one!

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Tikanga and Tangihanga

Thu, 01 Feb 2024 02:42:40 GMT

In the rich tapestry of Māori culture, the tikanga (customs) surrounding tangihanga (funerals) hold profound significance, embodying a deep connection between the living, the deceased, and the spiritual realm.

Tangihanga typically begins with the tūpāpaku (deceased) lying in state, surrounded by whānau (family) and friends, fostering an environment for collective grieving.

The wharenui (meeting house) becomes a central space for mourning, where karakia (prayers), mōteatea (laments) and waiata (songs) are integral components of the farewell process.

The importance of whanaungatanga (kinship) is evident as people come together to share kai (food)

and manākitanga (support).

The tūpāpaku may be remembered by poignant speeches and stories that celebrate their life, ensuring their legacy lives on.

Tikanga tangihanga emphasises the interconnectedness of all things, acknowledging the spiritual and familial bonds that persist beyond the physical realm.

At Gillions, we respect Tikanga and aim to work closely with whānau by providing a supportive environment in your time of need.

Connecting loved ones across distances

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 22:36:35 GMT

In an era where physical distances can separate us from the ones we care about, technology emerges as a powerful tool for bridging gaps even in the face of loss. At Gillions, we understand the importance of connectivity during times of grief.

Our commitment to incorporating technology into funeral services ensures that no one is left out, regardless of their location. Whether it’s a heartfelt message from across the globe or a live video link allowing remote participation, technology enables a shared experience, uniting loved ones in commemorating a life well-lived.

Funerals during Covid were very different from previous times. Technology has become crucial as the means to connect. We couldn’t hug or be together in person, but we could still feel the emotions and connectedness via our screens.

Although all restrictions have now ended, the impact of Covid continues with lower numbers at funerals when we have a community surge accompanied by a greater number watching

on-line.

Our advanced technology setup means those watching can see the people gathering before the funeral, the procession into the chapel, the funeral itself, and the carry-out to the hearse.

As we embrace these advancements, we are always looking at ways to enhance our offering as we strive to make the farewell process not only more accessible, but deeply connected and meaningful to all those involved.

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Grieving at Christmas

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 02:35:30 GMT

If Christmas has always been a time of family, tradition and togetherness for you, then the first Christmas after you have lost someone you love can be particularly hard.

In 2023, Christmas will be a time of tears, memories and sadness for my family, as we lost a very important person in our lives just a few weeks ago – my mother Catherine. There will be laughter too as we remember her jokes and quirky stories.

She loved Christmas and was always at the centre of our family gatherings. Our plans for the day will be changing but we don’t quite know how that will look yet. We are still trying to grasp that she is gone. We do know that she wont be here to make her famous meringues – a symbol of the many losses we are slowly adjusting to.

For us personally, we can be grateful that she reached the age of 84 years and we were able to have some wonderful family time when we travelled earlier this year.

When I look at the list of ideas below, from a position of personal and very new grief, all of them seem to speak to us.

Downsize your expectations and set priorities. Remember this will not be the perfect day and be gentle with yourself.
Change a tradition even if it is just for this year. Maybe have dinner somewhere else and have a more relaxed menu. Sometimes we need a space and a place removed from the everyday reminders.
Talk to your family about how you are feeling and ask for suggestions and help.
If there are children in the wider family, ask for their ideas and suggestions.
If you usually run around at the last-minute buying gifts, think about doing it differently this year – maybe gift vouchers, or online shopping.
Don’t be afraid to mention your loved ones' names and share memories. Think about how you can honour them at this time. One idea is to like a special candle at the Christmas table. Another is to raise a toast and place a special decoration on the tree in their memory.

If it seems all too overwhelming and exhausting, give yourself permission to step back for this year. There will be other Christmases.

Elizabeth Goodyear

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Funeral Services. Why I should I have one

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 21:34:25 GMT

Funeral services, deeply rooted in tradition across diverse cultures and beliefs, play a central role in the grieving process and the commemoration of a departed loved one. These gatherings bring together family and friends in a structured environment for expressing grief and navigating the emotional journey of loss, offering therapeutic solace.

Rituals have been with us since the beginning of time and funerals offer structure and meaning when confronted with the chaos of death, whether rooted in religious or cultural traditions.

Funerals provide a supportive platform to celebrate your loved ones life and achievements through eulogies, visual retrospectives with photographs, and shared stories, ensuring their lasting memory and impact on the community.

The presence of a compassionate community offers invaluable support to a grieving family, making the process more manageable.

Funerals console and unify communities, strengthening bonds and emphasising collective respect for the departed. Recognising the profound significance of funerals helps navigate the complex journey of grief and provides support through life’s most challenging trials. For over a century, our funeral home, established by C.J. Thorn in 1884 and continued through Gillions, has guided thousands of families through grief, offering support.

As Dunedin City’s only family-owned full-service funeral home, we understand the importance of family during times like this, and our family will be standing with you to provide comfort and assistance during your time of sorrow.

The other side of the arrangement table

Sun, 01 Oct 2023 02:13:44 GMT

Death comes to us all – even to funeral directors.

Everyone here in the Gillions team has had their own personal experiences of death, our hearts have been broken too, and we also grieve.

I, first lost my mum and then not too long ago, my dad. For me, being on the other side of the arrangement desk was strange, yet comforting. You see, I had inside information. I knew the care respect and dignity my dad would receive from the first transfer into our care, right through to the day of the funeral (and beyond).

When someone comes into our care at Gillions, we treat them like our own family. We often get comments like ’look after her’ or ‘be gentle with him’ – we absolutely understand. We are very aware of how hard it is to trust your loved one to people you don’t know, but comforting to know that your person is being looked after by gentle, professional, qualified hands who have been caring for Dunedin’s community for many many years.

Caring for families is what we do best. We listen, we guide, and we make sure we do whatever we can to ensure that the families we look after celebrate their loved ones in the way they want to. That could be a traditional funeral in a church or other venue, or in our chapel, or a relaxed gathering in our small intimate Carisbrook Room, or at home.

Lee Buckingham Dip.FD, Dip Emb

Senior Funeral Director / Embalmer

2023 Pet Memorial

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 00:04:15 GMT

Losing an adored pet can be an incredibly difficult and emotional time. Pets are an integral part of our families. They provide us with unwavering love, and joy. When they pass away it is only natural to want to honour them. It is natural to have a deep emotional connection with our pets.

The grieving process after losing a pet can have a significant impact on mental and emotional wellbeing. It is common that, for a child, their first encounter with grief is that of losing a pet. It is here we can help to set up life long learning that will assist them later in life.

At Gillions, we have all had to say goodbye to our pets at one time or another and came to the realisation that there is no formal way to say goodbye to our pets. That is why we hold a Pet Memorial each October for this reason.

Our Pet Memorial is to be held on Sunday 1 ^st October at 2pm in the Gillions Chapel. Entry is by gold coin donation and 100% goes to the charities Cat Rescue Dunedin, One By One Rescue and Bird Rescue Dunedin.

There will be a celebrant, musician, Slideshow of pets that have passed and refreshments afterwards.

If you would like your pet to be in the slide show please email their photo to pets@gillions.co.nz or via our facebook page by 24 ^th September. Please also RSVP by emailing or calling us on 03455 2128 for catering purposes.

Grief is the price we pay for love, and with our pets, we love them unconditionally.

A quick guide to death certificates

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 22:12:16 GMT

When someone you love dies, it can feel very overwhelming. Not only will you be working through the funeral arrangements and your feelings of loss, but there is also what can feel like a mountain of paperwork.

One of the most important pieces of administration is the death certificate.

How do I obtain a death certificate for my loved one?

Your funeral director can take care of this for you; or you can register

the death and obtain a death certificate yourself via Births, Deaths and

Marriages.

What information will I need?

When you meet with your funeral director, they will ask you to complete a form requesting information for Births, Deaths and Marriages. The death can’t be registered until after burial or cremation, so if you need a bit of time to complete the form, that’s absolutely fine. You will be asked for details such as:

- The deceased’s personal details, including date of birth, ethnicity, and how many years they have been in New Zealand (if they were born overseas),

- The names and occupations of the deceased’s parents,

- The ages of the deceased’s children,

- Details of any applicable relationships or marriages, including where the marriage/civil union took place and how old the deceased was at the time of marriage/civil union,

- If the deceased was a Justice of the Peace, celebrant, or recipient of any honours/awards.

How long does the death certificate take to arrive?

It can take up to 10 working days from the time of registration of death, excluding courier time.

Do I need to get copies?

It is useful to have copies on hand. At Gillions, we have a Justice of the Peace onsite who can certify these for you.

What is the difference between a death certificate and the Medical Causes of Death document?

A death certificate is a legal document recorded with the Department of Internal Affairs, which is needed for things like closing bank accounts, processing life insurance, executing the estate, and can be very useful

for genealogical research. The Medical Causes of Death document is prepared by a doctor, and can’t be used for legal processes.

If you have any questions about death certificates, or want to chat in more detail, just let us know. We’re always happy to help.

By: Ainslie Haddon

Let us worry about the details

Thu, 01 Jun 2023 00:55:31 GMT

Trying to plan and organise details that we would normally find easy can feel like an impossible burden. Grief can make us forgetful and confused. This is where Gillions come in.

When you choose the Gillions team to care for your loved one’s arrangements, it means you are choosing

experience, commitment and professionalism and those things really count. It also means that we can look after all the arrangements for you so that you can focus on spending precious time with your family in the days before the funeral.

What do we actually do?

We organise the transfer and care of your loved one, meet with you as often as you need us to, offer viewing if required, arrange all the medical documentation and cremation or burial arrangements, the casket selection, contact a celebrant and musician if required, design and print service sheets, scan and digitise photos, arrange music and photo tributes, recording and live streaming, organise catering, flowers, newspaper notices, the structure of the service, registering the death, bereavement support, manage genealogy enquiries, and organise monumental work.

We also arrange payment of all these components so that when you receive your funeral account, you only

have one invoice to pay rather than many.

Please contact us for any further information

Your personal legacy

Mon, 01 May 2023 01:28:12 GMT

I’ve been going through some old photo albums recently from my grandmother’s time. There are some fascinating photos from over a century ago but mostly I don’t have a clue who the people are. Being a bit of a hoarder, I’m reluctant to move the anonymous ones on but it got me thinking about how we can make it easier for our family members when they have to organise our funeral.

Many family photos are in a digital format now, so they can be difficult or impossible for others to access. Think about how to ensure the photos you want to illustrate your life are shared – perhaps copy them onto a USB and keep it in a file box with your certificates and family information, awards, medals, anything really that has been significant in your life.

Family history and stories from years gone by are often not written down. How best to ensure they are not lost?

We are all busy and it seems we have plenty of time to gather these memories but sometimes we leave it too late and then there are regrets.

Next time you are all together for a family gathering, how about setting aside some time for this purpose. Have a note taker or record the stories digitally. Bring out the old albums, talk about your proudest achievements, the people who have influenced you, old family sayings and advice, your school days, holidays, sad and happy times.

This can be very emotional so have some tissues handy. It can also be a time of great joy and lots of laughter.

Post Cremation Options: Whats new in 2023

Sat, 08 Apr 2023 01:01:54 GMT

A couple of weeks ago, Keith and I attended the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand’s conference and one highlight was seeing some of the new services available for ashes.

In years gone by the options were pretty much limited to ashes burial either in a cemetery or privately, or scattering. Both of these options remain popular but there are now also some very creative ways of remembering a loved one.

We saw examples of the Reterniti Stone whereby all of the ashes are converted into stone. This could be one stone or several smaller ones. They are beautifully presented and very tactile. We have display samples to see here at Gillions. For more info go to www.reternti.com

Local company, Tributes Funeral Supplies, offer a wide range of personalised scattertubes, urns, candles and memorial products. They are constantly innovating and focus on using local artisans to craft their offerings. Once again we have samples of their work at Gillions. You can also see their range

www.funeralsupplies.co.nz

Did you know you can now have your loved one’s ashes converted into a diamond? Previously this was available overseas but there is now an option in New Zealand. We do not have any samples but can let you know more if you are interested.

A lovely and more modest option is to have a portion of ashes incorporated into glass beads, a sphere or placed in an ashes pendant.

Finally …there is StardustME. This is a new company which can literally send a tiny portion of your ashes into space. They weren’t at the conference but were featured in our industry magazine recently.

On another note, there has been increasing interest in jewellery made with a loved one’s fingerprint. If this interests you - let us know and we can organise that before the cremation.

Your Questions

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 01:58:56 GMT

What should I do when someone dies?

Your first calls should be to friends and family, you will need support in the days ahead. Call the deceased’s medical professional. If the death is unexpected, phone 111. When you are ready, call us on 03 455 2128. We will talk you thought what you need to do.

How much does a funeral cost?

There is no easy answer as the price varies on the type of service. We can suit different budgets and often surprise people in a good way with our answers.

Does everyone need to be embalmed?

The answer is it depends. The circumstances around every death are slightly different. Sometimes it is essential and other times a simpler option will work well. Our mortuary team will assess and advise you.

Are you part of a bigger funeral company or organisation?

No. We are 100% local. We are, however, members of the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand (FDANZ) and New Zealand Independent Funeral Homes (NZIFH)

How do I do about organising a funeral pre-payment plan?

We use the Funeral Directors Association Funeral Trust. Unlike other trusts, this one is held to a high account and is audited yearly

Funeral directors and celebrants. What is the difference

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 00:22:01 GMT

This is a question we are asked quite often so we thought it would be useful to explain how the different

roles co-ordinate for our business.

The funeral director

organises the big picture arrangements. From small family gatherings to large public funerals the director is, in effect, the event planner. They guide, support and advise on the options, co-ordinate the practical arrangements and make it all work.

The funeral director makes contact with the celebrant and puts them in touch with the family.

The celebrant

will spend time with the family to learn about the essence of the person who has died, and will then distil

this knowledge into a meaningful ceremony. Celebrants will often craft the eulogy or life story as well.

After their initial meeting with the family, they will coordinate with the funeral director and advise on

the order of service and any requirements or cultural needs. On the day of the funeral, they work closely

with the funeral director and the family to ensure the ceremony runs smoothly.

We work regularly with a number of local celebrants. Often the timeframes for funerals are very tight so

excellent time management and organisational skills are critical.

A good memory for names and faces, being empathetic, skilled in navigating family dynamics and

having a clear speaking voice are important attributes of a successful funeral celebrant. Having a gift for

writing is an added bonus.

Celebrants set their own fee and in most cases we pay them directly and add that cost to the funeral account.

Unlike for weddings, funeral celebrants are not required to be registered, and for less structured

farewells, sometimes a family member will act as a celebrant or as a M.C.

Grieving at Christmas

Sat, 03 Dec 2022 01:17:24 GMT

The first Christmas after you have lost someone you love can be particularly hard. When you look around you and see others celebrating with their families, the pain can be intense.

If you are the one who usually organises Christmas celebrations for others, the practical tasks can seem overwhelming.

Here are some ideas that may help you get through.

Downsize your expectations and set priorities. Remember that this will not be the perfect day and be gentle with yourself.
Change a tradition even if it is just for this year. Maybe have dinner somewhere else and have a more relaxed menu. Sometimes we need a space and place removed from everyday reminders.
Talk to your family about how you are feeling and ask for suggestions and help.
If there are children in the wider family, ask for their ideas and suggestions.
If you usually run around at the last minute trying to buy gifts, think about doing it differently this year. Maybe gift vouchers or online shopping.
Try to find some time to relax and do something for you. Maybe have a massage, or coffee with a friend.
Don't be afraid to mention your loved one's name and share memories. Think about how you can honour them at this time. One idea is to light a special candle at the Christmas table.
If all seems too overwhelming and exhausting, give yourself permission to step right back for this year. There will be other Christmases

What is a funeral in 2022

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 03:23:35 GMT

A common definition is that a funeral is a ceremony or service held shortly after a persons death, usually including the persons burial or cremation.

As New Zealanders, we have our own unique approach to funerals, tangihanga and farewell gatherings. They can be small and intimate or large public events to farewell community identities. This diversity in structure reflects the changing dynamics in our society and has accelerated profoundly since the first lockdown in 2020.

20 years ago, when I first started working here, many funerals had some religious components - usually a prayer and readings. The services of an organist were often required so the mourners could sing a hymn or two. Funerals were personalised with service sheets and music, but they followed a fairly standard structure.

Although these elements are still import to many people, secular services have become more common over the years. These are usually led by a celebrant or family member rather than a minister, pastor or priest, and the format is flexible, although most will have some committal words at the end.

The other significant difference has been the rise of technology components. Over the last couple of years, there were periods when live streaming and online services were all that we could provide families.

As we have moved back to less restricted times, we have noticed more requests for something a bit different with an emphasis on value and simplicity. An intimate farewell, memorial service, graveside ceremony, or farewell at home all fit the bill. We are lucky to have several options for different options for different spaces in our building and, because we are licenced to serve food (with an "A" grade rating), we can offer a variety of catering options as well.

What happens when someone dies away from home

Sat, 01 Oct 2022 03:40:25 GMT

Now that overseas travel; is on the cards again, many New Zealanders are heading off for a long-delayed holiday for their great OE. Domestic travel is also taking off and it looks like this Summer will be a busy one around the country.

So, what if someone dies when they are away from home?

For Dunedinites travelling within New Zealand, the arrangements are fairly straightforward. A local funeral home will usually be contracted by the family to undertake the initial arrangements and then they will liaise with us here in Dunedin to get your loved one home.

If flights are required, the person must be embalmed, the casket sealed, and the packaging must meet the airline's requirements. Transportation of a casket is restricted to larger planes such as the A320. To fly a casket into Dunedin, we are limited to flights out of Auckland or Wellington.

Other families, who have a loved one die when visiting Dunedin, will arrange for us to provide the basic care and they will then organised their own transport to take them home.

It is more complicated when a local person dies overseas. Different countries have their own requirements for repatriation. We are experienced in liaising with funeral firms around the world to bring deceased people home. That often involves some contact with repatiration and travel insurance companies as well as government and custom agencies. All of this takes time and can be very expensive.

Another option can be for the family to choose local cremation and then bring the ashes home for a memorial service.

We have learnt. though our experience, how important insurance is when travelling. It can make an enormous difference to families if the worst happens.

So, you have been asked to present a Eulogy

Fri, 17 Jun 2022 02:52:15 GMT

It is an honour to be asked but if this is the first time for you it can be hard to know where to start.

Essentially a eulogy is the story of a life. It highlights important events, achievements, career highlights, interests, family and relationships as well as the impact the deceased had on those whose lives were touched.

Where to start?

Have a look around the house. Are there photos, old letters, school reports, awards or holiday journals that trigger memories and ideas?

Talk to friends and family members. Some people have written their own memoirs which can contain a treasure trove of information. Make some notes of your memories and feelings about what they meant to you.

Where to start writing?

Start with a timeline of their life and then fill in the gaps. Keep the dates and genealogical information brief and leave the space for their stories and memories as that is what brings a eulogy to life. Sharing anecdotes brings humour to the story and is a great way of engaging the mourners. Remember though, that modern funerals are live-streamed and recorded so keep it respectful and reserve some of the more salty stories for the wake afterwards.

Write out a rough draft, it can be polished up later. Make sure it has a clear introduction and conclusion. Time yourself reading it. Ideally, it will be between 5-10 minutes long.

Practice reading it to family members and friends. They may have a few suggestions.

Once you have edited it, read it through again the following day and make any final tweaks. Print it in a large, easily readable font and keep a backup copy.

On the day

It's a good idea to have a backup plan for reading in case you are overcome with emotion. Have a glass of water and some tissues handy as well. Speak slowly and clearly and up close to the microphone as this is important for recording, Look up and connect with the audience and pause if you need to.

Do contact us if you need advice on content or help with printing your eulogy

Our proud history

Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:39:48 GMT

In our daily lives, we interact with many businesses and services whether it is weekly at the supermarket, occasionally at the doctor or calling out to a tradie or mechanic when something goes wrong.

The decisions underpinning where to go and who to trust vary according to the importance of the transaction or reason for the visit. If you are looking for a service that’s new to you, recommendations are right up there as more important sources of trusted information.

Contacting a funeral director may be a call that you have to make very rarely at all. But when you do, it is usually at a time of grief and often exhaustion. So how do you choose? We know from talking to families, that trust and generational family relationships are really important.

Families trust us to look after their loved ones with respect and dignity because that’s is what we have always done and that we continue to do. Whether the choice is a simple cremation or a large public funeral, our level of care is the same.

In 2022, we celebrate 60 years of supporting the Dunedin community. 1962 was the year Gillions and Sons Limited was incorporated but the connections go back to the 1870’s.

New Paragraph

Decision fatigue and farewell planning

Sat, 07 May 2022 04:04:32 GMT

I had an "ah-ha" moment last week when a feature about decision fatigue was discussed on TV. This is when we have to make so many decisions in a day that our ability to make them deteriorates over the course of the day.

The discussion was centred around all the extra decisions we have had to make since Covid arrived on our shores. As if modern life wasn't already tricky enough we now have to make instant decisions about keeping ourselves and our community safe - what are the latest rules again? Do I need a mask? Is my sneezing hay fever? Do I need to test? Is it safe to go to a cafe?

In our business life, we have had a whole new layer of decisions to make, and at times, the fog of confusion has descended on our team as well.

In a way, it was easier under the more prescriptive settings because the rules were clearer.

That brings me to funerals. We have noticed the general fatigue and confusion about the rules have also affected the families we care for. Making decisions about arrangements for a loved one who has died, is so much harder when you are exhausted, grieving and perhaps still recovering from a Covid infection. Trying to plan and organise details that you would normally find easy can feel like an impossible burden. Grief can make us forgetful and confused.

This is why we encourage as much advanced planning as is manageable for you. The fewer decisions that you need to make at the time of death, the easier it will be.

Give us a call, or email at office@gillions.co.nz for more information. We can answer your questions, provide pricing guidelines and send you a free funeral planning pack.

What to do if you can't make the funeral

Sat, 02 Apr 2022 01:20:54 GMT

This time last year seems a distant memory. We were in Level One with no community cases and very few restrictions compared to the rest of the world.

This autumn is very different and there is widespread anxiety and uncertainty out there. most days we hear of someone else we know who is either positive or isolating because of being a household contact.

All this means that many people cannot make it to the funeral and often this is a last minute change. So, What to do? The worst-case scenario is the funeral day is postponed until everyone is well. Keep an eye on the ODT and our website for any last-minute changes.

If the funeral is going ahead and you can't make it, watching it via livestream is the second best option. If you are not sure on how to do this, give us a call and we will talk you through the steps.

What happens if you are giving the eulogy or a tribute? That is really tough because you are an integral part of the family and ceremony. The best option is to pre-record it and send it to us by file transfer through our website. We have step-by-step instructions on how to do this. Let us know you are sending it and please don't leave it to the last minute because it will have to be loaded and tested on our system.

Alternatively, you could email a written tribute to be read out at the service. If you don't have computer access, give us a call and we can write it down for you.

Some families are choosing to have a simple direct cremation or burial now with the view of having a memorial service down the track when everyone can be together again.

What has changed in relation to funerals since my last column? From Tues day 5th April, there will be no mandated requirement to use a vaccine pass, and all indoor gatherings will be limited to 200 people. Some families may prefer that vaccine passes are required so let us know if that is your preference.

Traffic Light Funerals - Red Phase 3

Thu, 03 Mar 2022 02:50:20 GMT

Autumn is here and we are in "red phase 3"

This Covid Omicron outbreak is moving very fast - especially in the South and it is taking us all a while to get our heads around it ( and everything else that is happening around the world right now).

There is definitely more anxiety out there and we are noticing that more people out there and we are noticing that more people are choosing to watch services online rather than being there in person. This is especially noticeable as more people test positive or have to self-isolate.

So what is the difference in Phase 3 of Traffic Light Red as far as funerals go? The answer is not very much, however, the borders opening for New Zealanders returning from Australia is a huge relief for those who desperately have been wanting to come home to be with dying relatives or at a loved one's funeral.

These are the main points under Red:

For a service where everyone has a Vaccine Pass there can be up to 100 people in a single defined space . We do have access to a self-contained overflow space with screens, separate exits and bathrooms, so larger services can be managed if required.
For a service without vaccine passes, there is a limit of 25 people based on 1-metre distancing. We suggested that these services should be by private invitation.

What plans do we have in place?

Please call us to make an appointment rather than popping in. We will be asking if you have a Vaccine Pass when you contact us so that we can schedule your visit appropriately.
We can organise most details over the phone or remotely, so if you are concerned about coming into the office, let us know if this is an option for you.
We are scheduling services so that there is plenty of time in between to ventilate and sanitise.
We are ensuring our staff have appropriate PPE, and we have recently obtained a supply of RAT's so we will be regularly self-testing.
We are continuing to offer love streaming at no charge from our chapel. (There is still no charge for hosting the on-demand service if required). This means people who cannot attend in person, for whatever reason, can still watch the service in real-time.

Into the Red Zone - Traffic light funerals

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 03:08:30 GMT

Most public funerals have been Vaccine Pass funerals recently, and that has meant no limit on numbers.

We have needed more staff at the door to scan passes so that the start time of the funeral is not delayed.

Most families are choosing to livestream the service. Our offer for complimentary live streaming from our chapel has been very well received.

Generally speaking, most people have been very understanding and helpful. There have been a few who have not had their passes with them or were not valid. Sadly they have not been able to attend in person but have been able to watch remotely.

This has changed and now we are in RED . What does that mean for funerals?

For a service where everyone has a Vaccine Pass, there can be up to 100 people in a single defined space. We suggest these services be invitation only rather than a publicly notified service.
A service without vaccine passes, there is a limit of 25 people baste on 1-metre distancing. These services will need to be by private invitation only.
We need to continue with record-keeping, scanning and mask-wearing. Mask-wearing will be mandatory at all funerals and gatherings.

Funeral homes are required to have a health and safety plan which is current for the traffic light setting. This has to be shared with friends and whanau

What plans do we have in place?

Asking families to make scheduled appointments for arrangements and viewings and limiting the number at any one time. We will be asking if you have a vaccine pass when you contact us so we can reschedule your visit appropriately.
Arrangements can be made over the phone if needed.
We are scheduling service so that there is plenty of time to sanitize and ventilate the premises.
All our staff will be wearing PPE.
We are now offering livestreaming at no charge from our chapel (there is still a charge for hosting on-demand service if required)
We offer complimentary bereavement support.

It is tough enough losing a loved one at the best of times but so much harder when our normal patterns, traditions and supports are disrupted.

New Paragraph

Grieving during lockdown

Wed, 19 Aug 2020 04:11:04 GMT

You dont know what yo have until its gone

Like most New Zealanders we experienced the range of emotions as we progressed through March and into April. There was fear of the virus and the unknown, uncertainty about operating safely, and sadness for those families who had someone die at such a difficult time.

We had to adapt very quickly and work out new ways of operating. The normal patterns were upended, and we needed to give guidance and support in ways previously unknown. There was very much a sense of loss and disconnect in the community.

We learnt how to run simulcast funerals with an on-line audience and remote tributes coming in using multiple platforms. We recorded unaccompanied committals so that families could at least have some comfort in knowing their loved one was farewelled with respect and dignity.

When Jacinda announced the move to Level 1, we were delighted. How wonderful it felt to be safe and to hug each other again.

And we relearnt something that we already knew – that all the technology in the world cannot replace basic human connection and support. When someone we love dies, the need to be together, to support and to mourn, to touch and to hug is such a powerful human instinct. I read an article recently by a grief educator who talked about the power of touch and how when we are touched in comforting ways, our brains are flooded with feel-good hormones. Conversely ‘touch starvation’ can add to depression and anxiety and complicated grieving. The gathering together and the rituals of a funeral help with acceptance.

As we have touched base with the lockdown families, we have had conversations about the best way to re-connect and remember. While borders remain closed, technology will continue to play an important role in funerals and memorial gatherings, but we have definitely noticed a new appreciation for the chance to all be together in the same place at the same time. The song lyric “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” is so very true.

From memories to moments

Sat, 01 Aug 2020 04:52:58 GMT

As a celebrant, it's a privilege to be welcomed into a family's circle where they share memories of their loved one. If you decide that having a celebrant is the right choice for your loved one’s funeral, you will be contacted directly by your celebrant to arrange a convenient time & location to meet and chat. This can even be over zoom if you are trying to organise the funeral from afar.

We understand that this is an emotionally trying period, with time-sensitive decisions, varying viewpoints, and heightened emotions.
Therefore, as a celebrant, my goal is to make our interactions as gentle and comforting as possible. Sometimes, I operate quietly in the background while family members converse, occasionally clarifying details or asking thought-provoking questions.

The most beautiful, healing moments are when people share memories and others chime in with revelations, creating a tapestry of anecdotes and emotions. The act of storytelling has long been a part of human tradition and aids in the grieving process. Drawing on insights from close friends and family greatly helps in crafting a personal, meaningful service and Eulogy. Once written, I will share the service with you for feedback and any amendments you may like.

My objective is to encapsulate the essence of your loved one's personality in the service. I am completely flexible in my involvement. This could range from leading the entire service, including the eulogy, tributes, and readings, to assuming a more supportive role akin to an "MC", overseeing proceedings while family members deliver speeches and tributes, and concluding with words of farewell.
While honouring tradition remains significant for many families, modern funerals are tailored to individual preferences, catering to the family's specific needs in commemorating their loved one and guiding them through the grieving process.

by: Emma Jopson

Grieving at Christmas

Wed, 27 Nov 2019 00:20:21 GMT

First Christmas

The first Christmas after you have lost someone you love can be particularly hard. When you look around you and see others celebrating with their families, the pain can be intense.
If you are the one that usually organises Christmas celebrations for others, the practical tasks can seem overwhelming.

Here are some ideas that may help you get through:

Downsize your expectations and set priorities. Remember that this will not be the perfect day and be gentle with yourself.
Change a tradition even if it is just for this year. Maybe have dinner somewhere else and have a more relaxed menu, or go somewhere entirely different. Sometimes we need a space and place removed from the everyday reminders.
Talk to your family about how you are feeling and ask for suggestions and help.
If there are children in the wider family, ask for their ideas and suggestions
If you usually run around at the last minute trying to buy gifts, think about doing it differently this year - maybe gift vouchers, choosing from a catalogue or on-line.
Try to find some time to relax and do something for you. Maybe have a massage, or go to a cafe with friends.
Don’t be afraid to mention your loved one’s name and share memories. Think about how you can honour them at this time. One idea is to light a special candle at the Christmas table.
If it all seems too overwhelming and exhausting, give yourself permission to step right back for this year. There will be other Christmases.

If you need to talk to someone, give us a call, or pop in and see us. We are always happy to catch up.

Business as usual

Keith@Gillions.co.nz (Keith Gillions) — Thu, 07 Nov 2019 05:02:36 GMT

Still operated and owned by the Gillions Family

You may have noticed that the Gillions building is listed for sale in the commercial pages of the Otago Daily Times this week.

We want to reassure everyone that although the building is for sale, the business is most definitely not. There will be no changes to our service, people or facilities.

The building was originally sold out of the family in 2008, before Keith and Elizabeth took over the company and our current landlord has decided it is time to move on.

We have a very long lease so will be here for the long term.

Although many New Zealand funeral companies are now Australian owned, we remain locally owned and operated and are committed to supporting local businesses and our community.

How to help children when their pet dies

Tue, 05 Nov 2019 03:42:32 GMT

How to help children when their pet dies

Children can feel the loss of a pet very deeply. Their pets are members of their family, their playmates and companions.

Your child may look to their pet for comfort and companionship especially in cases where they have no siblings. To a young child, it feels like their pet will be there forever.

When their beloved pet dies, it is a huge loss – often the first experience of loss they will have had. They may experience the range of emotions from grief, anger, loneliness and maybe even guilt.

How can you help them through this?

Firstly, remember that it is normal and necessary to grieve and to acknowledge the depth of the loss. It is not helpful to say it was only a “cat” or a “dog” and we can get another one. Your approach will be slightly different depending on the age of the child, but it is important to be honest about the pet’s death.

If the pet is old and their health deteriorating, consider talking to them before the death happens. If you have to euthanise your pet, you could explain that this is the kindest way to take the pet’s pain away and the vet has done all they can. Reassure them that their pet will die peacefully without pain or fear.

Explain what happened and include the child in making decisions about the pet’s cremation or burial. Give them opportunities to talk about their feelings but if they don’t want to talk at the moment then that’s ok too. You could talk about the pets you had when you were young and how much they meant to you.

Have a little ceremony and offer the child a chance to talk about what their pet meant to them. Perhaps they could include a special drawing or card in with their pet. Scrapbooking and photos of their pet can create important memories to look back on. They will never forget the place their pet held in their heart.

Remembering your pet

Thu, 24 Oct 2019 03:47:27 GMT

Gillions Pet Memorial service

Sunday 17 November 2019 at 2pm - in our chapel 407 Hillside Road, South Dunedin

Saying goodbye is the hardest part of having an animal in your life.

At Gillions, we love our pets and we, too, have experienced their loss.

When talking with our team it got us thinking about how loss and grief for our pets is not widely acknowledged in the New Zealand context.

This led to the idea of hosting a pet memorial service here in our chapel.

We hope it will provide an opportunity for pet lovers to come together for a special ceremony to remember our animal friends. We will have a local celebrant, live music, a photoshow and a chance for all to participate.

The highlight of the service will be the photoshow where you will be able to see a photo of your loved pet up on the screen. All photos received by 10 November will be entered in a prize draw – the winner of the draw will have the photo crafted into a detailed pencil impression by Dunedin artist, Tania Willis.

Light refreshments will be available after the service so those attending can share their memories in our reception lounge.

Pet lovers know that their pet is not just a “cat” or a dog” – it is a family member. When that beloved pet dies, the loss felt is truly significant. What can make it even harder is that society often denies you an opportunity to express your grief and to mourn. Sometimes people try to help by saying “it’s just an animal” or “you can get another one”. When you are feeling the loss intensely this can add to your sadness.

Your emotions may swing between sadness, confusion, guilt and emptiness. Each family member may feel the loss differently and need to grieve in their own way.

The relationship with a pet is often the most meaningful relationship an older person has after they have lost their life partner. When that pet then dies, this may trigger old grief losses and we have all witnessed how painful this is for the families we care for.

In our experience it helps to talk about your loss and to share precious memories.

We hope that we can help by providing this opportunity for our community.

For those that would like to come to the service, please let us know by 10 November by registering on the Gillions the community page or phoning us on 03 455 2128 during business hours. Photos can be uploaded to the website, emailed or we can scan them for you at our office (please phone first to schedule a time).

Please help us support the S.P.C.A by your gold coin donation at the service.

Let us worry about the details

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 22:24:45 GMT

Giving you time to focus on family

When someone we love dies, especially if they have been ill for a long time, we are often exhausted, shocked and drained. Grief can surprise us with its strength, and we can be overwhelmed by it’s physical nature. Trying to plan and organise details that we would normally find easy can feel like an impossible burden. Grief can make us forgetful and confused.

This is where Gillions come in.

When you choose the Gillions team to care for your loved one’s arrangements, it means you are choosing experience, commitment and professionalism and those things really count. It also means that we can look after all the arrangements for you so that you can focus on spending precious time with your family in the days before the funeral.

What do we actually do?

We organise the transfer and care of your loved one, meet with you as often as you need us to, offer viewing if required, arrange all the medical documentation and cremation or burial arrangements, the casket selection, contact a celebrant and musician if required, design and print service sheets, scan and digitise photos, arrange music and photo tributes, organise catering, flowers, newspaper notices, the structure of the service, registering the death, bereavement support, manage genealogy enquiries and organise monumental work.

We also arrange payment of all these components so that when you receive your funeral account, you only have one invoice to pay rather than many.

What makes us different

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 21:55:37 GMT

Long term Dunedin Firm

We’re locally owned and operated, have trained, qualified, registered and experienced staff, a great building with reconfigured spaces, top-class technology, traditional, contemporary and unique farewell options, eco- friendly options, affordable package options, and a range of caskets, urns and keepsakes.

Ask us about our bereavement support, professional memberships, local partnerships, community support and our Gold Card discount.

If you are thinking about pre-planning or pre-payment, this is the time to contact us. We have free planning packs available and can talk you through the steps for organising a pre-payment plan. Because we are members of the FDANZ Funeral Trust, funds (up to $10,000) put into a pre-paid funeral are exempt from asset testing for residential care.

If you are looking for a speaker at your next event, give us a call – we are experienced at presenting to groups and answering your questions.

We are not the biggest company around, but we think our team is just the right size to provide the level of personal support that our community appreciates.

Loss and Grief

Tue, 23 Jul 2019 23:55:00 GMT

Grief doesn’t stop when the funeral is over

Grief doesn’t stop when the funeral is over…

Over many years of supporting grieving people through the loss of a loved one, we have noticed several recurring themes.
The first is the realisation that grieving is a very personal process and it is more than just sadness. Emotions can swing wildly between shock, anger, numbness, depression, guilt, confusion and regret. People are often surprised at how physical grief can be. Exhaustion, shivering, loss of appetite, weight loss, insomnia, and chest pain are a few of the physical effects you may experience.
The second is that people feel guilty when they haven’t “moved on” within a prescribed period of time. I’ve had many a cup of tea with a grieving person (often the bereaved husband or wife after a long and happy marriage). They tell me that they don’t want to bother their family or friends any more, so they pretend that they are coping when the reality is, they are struggling every day.

Thirdly, in the last couple of years we have noticed an increase in requests for support from some family members when there has not been any sort of farewell for their loved one. Often the decisions were made very quickly following a death, while they were in a shocked state, and then feelings of regret may follow.

So, what can we do to help?

Our experience has shown us that the first anniversary and Christmas without your loved one can be especially sad. In December each year, Gillions holds a special candle lighting remembrance service for those who have lost loved ones in the previous year.
We are always available for a gentle chat, we can send you grief support information, or loan you a book from our library.
We have also recently partnered with the Grief Centre, to provide complimentary bereavement support for up to a year after the funeral. The listening ear of an experienced support worker, as well as information and resources on loss and grief for all ages, is being warmly received by the families we care for.
If you would like to find out more about the services we provide, phone us on 03 4552128, pop into our offices in Hillside Road or check out our website www.gillions.co.nz.

Why have a funeral

Thu, 19 Apr 2018 23:37:07 GMT

The last life event

When we think about the really big events in our life - whether it be the birth of a baby, marriage or the death of a family member – it is usual to have some sort of ceremony. Sometimes this is very simple and for close family only, other times it can be a large public event.

For thousands of years funerals have helped us say goodbye, acknowledge the reality of loss, and to honour and remember the person who has died. Funerals surround us with the loving care of family and friends at a time when we may be shocked, grieving, confused and really need that extra support. A beautiful funeral can be a reflection of a life well lived but sometimes we need to remind ourselves that tears and sadness are ok as well.

A funeral can be whatever you choose – there are many different ways to say goodbye to the person you love. A simple farewell, a memorial gathering, a private service or a public funeral are all examples of the range of options available these days.

Families often ask us if they can do something special such as provide flowers from their garden, drive to the crematorium in a special vehicle, decorate the casket or farewell their loved one at their home or a significant venue. Our answer is that we will do our best to make it happen.

At Gillions we will listen to you, respect your choices and help you craft a farewell that meets your needs and your budget.

Freedom Years

Tue, 20 Mar 2018 00:23:46 GMT

Funeral Pre-planning

If you’ve been to a funeral lately, chances are that it started you thinking about what you would like for your own farewell.

People often come up to us after a funeral to ask about the options and take away one of our free funeral planning kits. It’s a great time to have a chat when the experience is fresh in your mind.

There are so many things to think about: music, photos, readings, the type of casket, burial or cremation … and the list goes on. Our advice is to talk to your family, share your family stories, sort out your photos and write everything down, otherwise the details can fade with time.

Your notes can then be left with your family, solicitor, or with us here at Gillions. We often have families commenting to us about how glad they were that this was all sorted out in advance. It helps take the stress out of making those decisions at a time when families are sad and grieving.

At Gillions, we can help by answering any questions and providing information about the options available including pre-paid funerals. Did you know that if you are applying for residential care, a pre-paid funeral (up to $10,000) is excluded from asset testing? And that Gillions offer a discount for Super Gold Card holders as well?

Our team are happy to discuss all this with you and can provide you with pricing guidelines. Pop in if you are passing, phone us on 03 4552128 or email us at support@gillions.co.nz.

Freedom Years

Mon, 19 Feb 2018 22:58:03 GMT

Working in a funeral home

Keith and I have been asked the same two questions a number of times in the last couple of weeks:

“Have you been watching the “Casketeers?” * and “How did you come to work in the funeral industry?”

The answer to the first question is “yes” – we have been enjoying watching the series.

For Keith the answer to the second question is simple – he is the third generation in his family to be working here since his grandfather started the business in 1962. When he was a child, he grew up in the flat above the funeral home at 407 Hillside Road.. After graduating from Otago University, he spent 20 years working in the IT industry before returning to work in the family business, alongside his father Allan who has recently retired.

I also grew up in Dunedin but had had no experience of death or funerals until my grandmother passed away when I was 18. My next experience was many years later when I came to work at Gillions in a business support role. I was very nervous to begin with – its takes a bit of adjustment to be working in our field but it didn’t take long to realise that it was really interesting and rewarding place to be (meeting Keith was the bonus – we are about to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary!).

I think we are so lucky to be working in an area where we can provide real help and support to people at this most difficult time in their lives. It can be hard, at times emotional and the hours are unpredictable but it is so rewarding to be able to guide and support grieving families through this time.

We couldn’t do it without the amazing team we have working with us.

Next time we will talk about ways you can help your family with funeral pre- planning ideas.

The Casketeers is a funeral industry documentary on TVNZ