Freedom Years
February 19, 2018
Working in a funeral home
Keith and I have been asked the same two questions a number of times in the last couple of weeks:
“Have you been watching the “Casketeers?” * and “How did you come to work in the funeral industry?”
The answer to the first question is “yes” – we have been enjoying watching the series.
For Keith the answer to the second question is simple – he is the third generation in his family to be working here since his grandfather started the business in 1962. When he was a child, he grew up in the flat above the funeral home at 407 Hillside Road.. After graduating from Otago University, he spent 20 years working in the IT industry before returning to work in the family business, alongside his father Allan who has recently retired.
I also grew up in Dunedin but had had no experience of death or funerals until my grandmother passed away when I was 18. My next experience was many years later when I came to work at Gillions in a business support role. I was very nervous to begin with – its takes a bit of adjustment to be working in our field but it didn’t take long to realise that it was really interesting and rewarding place to be (meeting Keith was the bonus – we are about to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary!).
I think we are so lucky to be working in an area where we can provide real help and support to people at this most difficult time in their lives. It can be hard, at times emotional and the hours are unpredictable but it is so rewarding to be able to guide and support grieving families through this time.
We couldn’t do it without the amazing team we have working with us.
Next time we will talk about ways you can help your family with funeral pre- planning ideas.
The Casketeers is a funeral industry documentary on TVNZ
What exactly is a direct cremation
If you have been keeping up with the news lately you may have noticed several distressing stories about a lack of care demonstrated by some funeral directors when being contracted by bereaved families after the loss of their loved one. There is no government regulatory authority for funeral directors in New Zealand but all funeral directors must comply with legal requirements around care of the deceased as specified in the Burials and Cremations Act. In addition, there are requirements for fair pricing and contracts under the Fair Trading Act, as well as obligations that apply under the Consumer Guarantees Act. We are members of the Funeral Directors Association so adhere to the ethics and standards that are part of our membership. We know that transparency of pricing is important along with ensuring that the options chosen work with families’ budgets. We regularly provide detailed pricing estimates along with information to help with farewell planning. Our many years of experience have also shown us that it is important to be looking at the ‘big picture’ when choosing a service provider. When you engage Gillions to look after arrangements for your loved one you will have the comfort and assurance that they will be well looked after from the time we transfer them to our care until the time we take them to the crematorium or cemetery. Our care for you continues beyond this time as we know that grief does not have a time limit.
Writing down my wishes
How Victorians Mourned
Because pets can't speak their grief often manifests in behavioural changes
Making the decision to euthanise a pet is never easy
We’re often asked whether children should be involved after a family member's death, and if so, how? While you know your children best, our general advice is to include them as much as possible. Children will take cues from the adults around them, so if you're open and honest, they will likely follow suit. Answer their questions directly but avoid unnecessary details unless they're asked. Their inquiries will be shaped by their age and previous experiences, such as the death of a pet. Children under 7 may not fully understand that death is permanent, universal, and involves the body stopping completely. They may ask more literal questions, like "Who will Nan play with in heaven?" or "Who will take me to the park?"
In some cultures, being around the deceased is a natural part of life, but in Western culture, we’ve moved away from this. At Gillions, we believe in supporting families to be as involved as they wish in caring for their loved one after they’ve passed. This may include helping to dress them, spending time with them, or bringing them home before the funeral. While it’s natural to feel unsure about this, we often hear from families that the experience was deeply meaningful. Dressing a loved one can feel like a final act of love, especially if you helped care for them before they passed. We encourage children to be part of this process too.
Grief is a deeply personal journey, influenced by past experiences and the circumstances of loss. When a death is sudden, for instance, grief can feel more complex and harder to navigate than when the death was expected. While many find their own path through grief, others may require additional support
It is not just children who are deeply affected by the loss of a pet. Grief is a price we pay for love.
